Offline: 5 dias de férias

Por Vanessa Campos

Como a vida é bizarra. Criamos expectativas de algumas situações que são inatingíveis. Tirei uns dias de férias. Como trabalho em dois lugares, consegui tirar 5 dias off total sem nenhum compromisso profissional ou administrativo que fosse. Minha expectativa era não fazer nada,  pensar em nada. Praticar o “nadismo”. Aí começa meu drama. Escolhi como destino um lugar há 7 horas de Porto Alegre. Resolvi que não queria ir de carro já que a estrada era um pouco ruim então comprei bem feliz as passagens de ônibus.

Ilustração: freepick

 

E ai começa a saga…sério. Entrei no ônibus poltrona 13. Cheio de gente. Quando subi a escada tive o primeiro impacto uma cheiro de gente aglomerada– nem sei quantos lugares tem– mas estavam todos ocupados. Já me deu um breve arrependimento. Não consigo entender como algumas pessoas exalam cheiros tão desagradáveis. Assunto que prometo falar com vocês em outra semana. Na minha frente sentaram dois jovens… meu Deus! Sério! Não sei a quantos dias eles não lavavam aquela barba e aqueles cabelos. Não preciso dizer que foi uma longa e eterna viagem. Poltrona desconfortável porque minhas pernas são compridas e bate no “vizinho fedorento” da frente. A única coisa boa foi a parada após 4h onde comi a melhor empada da face da terra…num posto qualquer perto do fim do mundo.

Chegando lá encontrei com pessoas muito queridas e especiais que fazem parte da minha vida desde o dia que nasci. Amigas de alma, poderiam ser minhas irmãs. Nossos encontros são sempre regados por muito vinho e risadas constantes, mas essa vez a situação estava tensa. Um ex-namorado de uma delas estava inconformado com o término do relacionamento e obviamente estava fazendo diversas investidas inoportunas. Ficamos “ trabalhando” nisso por um longo tempo. Quase uma consultoria particular, mensagens de WhatsApp para cá e para lá. Um estresse louco. Por que existem pessoas que têm o dom de tirar as outras do sério?

Fomos então para a fazenda, fui avisada que lá não pegava celular que ficaria ilhada- sem comunicação com o mundo, fiz todo um cenário de paz e tranquilidade. Óbvio que me diverti…rimos, fizemos vários testes culinários- todos executados como dedicação e muito amor, mas estou aqui contando para vocês as aventuras que não aconteceram como eu esperava. Não digo que foram coisas erradas, ou desastres porque não chegou a isso tudo, mas imprevistos. Seguindo nessa linha, estava eu tomando meu banho, lavando os cabelos- já que lá a água é de poço artesiano e deixa os cabelos sedosos, quando ouço um grito de pavor. Saio correndo e vejo a minha tia deitada no chão ensanguentada. Meu Deus que susto! Ela caiu- sem qualquer explicação e deu literalmente de cara no chão. Imediatamente um hematoma imenso surgiu na sua testa. Ficamos todos apavorados e depois de uma breve reunião foi resolvido que as filhas, minhas 2 amigas, iriam levar a acidentada no próximo hospital que ficava há 2 horas dali.

Minha incumbência: ficar cuidando e administrando 6 crianças com idades de 6 a 12 anos, pois  os vizinhos da fazenda ao lado estavam fazendo uma visita. Então era eu e mais aquela criançada toda. Começou um sobe e desce escada com colchão, briga daqui, discute dali, e eu calmamente abri um vinho e me sentei para ver meu canal favorito de entretenimento. Fiquei ali… quase alienada. Não escutava quais eram as conversas… minha atenção era saber se tudo estava bem. Quando vi que eles estavam aborrecidos propus fazermos um bolo …e foram as crianças todas para a cozinha, assim ganhei uns minutos…a melhor cena dessa história foi quando mandei todos sentarem à mesa…servi leite- tirado da vaca, bolo quente e eles permaneceram em silêncio por longos 5 minutos. Fico impressionada como criança fala!

Os vizinhos se despediram e fomos ver um filme. Achei que quando o filme terminasse minhas amigas e sua mãe já estariam de volta, mas não! A sede da fazenda é linda…no meio do nada! Uns metros de distância fica a antiga sede, toda de madeira. Lá ficava o único celular- de antena que pega na região. Tentei convencer as crianças de irmos até lá para sabermos notícias da avó. Em vão. Todos queriam saber o que tinha acontecido. Sou uma pessoa corajosa, mas existem determinadas situações que me vejo em maus lençóis. Sair à meia-noite no meio do mato…com a lanterna do celular…que não funciona …com 3 crianças agarradas…não era meu desejo secreto. Queria ficar ali… trancada. Imaginei mil coisas… das mais fantasmagóricas…animais selvagens, fantasmas, sei lá…não tinha fadas, nem gnomos, nem Papai Noel. Foi então que chegamos na casa. Como falei ela era toda de madeira…quando abri aquela porta e ela rangeu …juro por Deus que achei que ia aparecer um fantasma vestido de branco voando pela sala. Fizemos a comunicação com elas e saímos correndo para a sede ….

Elas chegaram… saldo da queda da tia…nariz quebrado, carro com pneu furado de tão rápido que foram…3 horas de hospital, mas todas rimos enquanto contávamos as peripécias de cada uma, comendo o bolo que havíamos feito… ah esqueci de contar que fizemos 2 bolos!

Tudo certo! Não me enganei…pegaram um outro carro e foram visitar os vizinhos, os que estavam no dia anterior… resultado…carro estragado em plena estrada de chão. Mais uma função. Resumo, não fiquei off line…a vida não permitiu, mas aconteceu algo inusitado…. não fui protagonista. Não fui eu que tive que levar minha mãe no hospital, não foi o meu carro que estragou, fiquei somente na retaguarda das situações. Algo totalmente novo para mim, já que estou acostumada a estar sempre no olho do furação, rodando e correndo para lá e para cá.

Agora, o mais sensacional… minha mente é rápida, às vezes penso e imagino coisas que não controlo- como todo mundo obviamente. Nunca havia tido esse pensamento que relatarei para vocês. Estava achando demais não ter me acontecido nada. Saí ilesa. Bizarro. Então entrei no ônibus de volta para Porto Alegre- torcendo para não ter nenhum vizinho fedorento…o ônibus estava quase vazio, nossa, haviam 8 pessoas. “Será que não me aconteceu nada porque esse ônibus vai cair serra abaixo e todos morremos? Será que somos os “escolhidos” … para juntos irmos para o paraíso? Vi um filme assim…

Sobrevivi. O ônibus não caiu…dormi a maior parte do tempo…socorri um passageiro lhe fornecendo um dramin já que a estrada era tão ruim que ele vomitou o tempo todo.

E ele me disse: qual teu nome? respondi: Vanessa.

Ele: que Deus te abençoe.

Eu: que nada estou vendendo o comprimido de dramim por R$ 50,00 hehehe.

Aqui estou. Firme e forte! Que comece um novo ciclo. Cheio de entusiasmo e devaneios literários

Um beijo até semana que vem

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