Artigo: O amor

Por Vanessa Campos

Outro dia estava pensando sobre o amor…nossa que sentimentos mais estranho. Olhava minha filha dormindo e confesso que tem dias que ela me diz: “mãeeeeeeeeee posso dormir contigo hoje?” com cara de cachorro abandonado na chuva. Contrario todas as recomendações psicológicas e deixo!!! E adormecemos ali abraçadas.

artigo-vanessa-campos-a-amor

(Ilustração: Freepick)

 

Era domingo, chovendo, acordei antes dela- algo histórico porque durmo até alguém me despertar. E fiquei olhando para ela dormindo. Nossa que delícia. Olhei seu rosto. Traços delicados, perfeita! Lembro que quando ela era pequena- bebê de colo, ficava olhando para ela mamar…e ela acabava adormecendo nos meus braços… como era bom.

Não existe nada melhor, para mim, nessa vida do que dar de mamar para teu filho. Melhor que chocolate, café, vinho, entre outras coisa que adultos fazem… a maior satisfação é amamentar. Ela me olhava enquanto segurava meu dedo com sua micro mãozinha… me encarava. Eu nutria ela com meu leite, mas também com o mais puro amor que alguém pode dar.

Ficava horas ali com ela no colo olhando seu nariz, sua boca, os olhinhos fechados … mal sabia ela o quanto eu a amava!!! Mal sabe ela o que eu a amo! Amo tanto que tem vezes que me dói a minha alma. Outras parece que ela não é do mundo. Tem vezes que olho para ela e quero que ela volte para dentro da minha barriga, para ser só minha, mas logo vejo ela toda independente e dona de si e penso: “não Vanessa…deixa a guria desbravar esse mundo. Ela merece!!!” assim funciona um coração de mãe. Ambivalente!!!!!

Vivo de paixões… me apaixono por coisas, pessoas, ideias, atitudes, sonhos. Mas minha maior paixão de todas é ela!!! Foi paixão à primeira vista!!!! Não esqueço o dia que ela nasceu e a colocaram em meus braços, toda “suja”- cheirei, beijei e tive a mesma sensação que tenho até hoje: é minha! Tem um pedaço meu nela. Sempre achei piegas quando as mães diziam “ ah pelo meu filho ou sou capaz de matar ou morrer. ” Nossa juro!!!! Depois que a tive digo a vocês essa sentença é uma verdade pura.

Não escrevi um livro, já plantei – acho que não especificamente uma árvore, mas outras plantas também devem valer! Tenho certeza que meu melhor feito foi ser mãe. É minha melhor função. A que mais me dá prazer. A que executo com excelência. Tanto é que sou a rainha de adotar as pessoas. Adoto meus pacientes, adoto minha amigas. Meu pai sempre dizia que me imaginava com um monte de filhos pendurados- não consegui- ainda esse feito, mas quem sabe um dia cumpro essa profecia.

E o amor? Esse é o amor puro… sem máscaras. Amor que vem da alma. Com as suas tantas falhas, seus tropeços, desencontros. Devo errar, mas erro com amor. Não sou perfeita, mas tento ser. Superprotejo porque amo. Me preocupo. Quero que ela seja feliz. Que ame!!! Que se apaixone!!! Assim funciona o coração de mãe – apertado…cheio de amor, esperança e culpa.

Um beijo, até semana que vem

 

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