Acerto de contas

Por Vanessa Campos

Existem pessoas que realmente te conhecem. Uma delas é meu irmão. Outro dia, ele me chamou e disse: “Vane, vai no show do Coldplay…vai por mim – show da vida”. Como tu não vais fazer algo que uma das pessoas que mais sabe de ti diz para tu fazeres? Nossa foi uma correria mas conseguimos. Na real tinha um certo ranço com o Coldplay. Minha memória afetiva sobre a banda não era boa. Analisando depois, foi uma música que me lembrava uma época da minha vida na qual não estava muito afim de lembrar.

coldplay-show

Foto: Banco de Imagens

Acho a vida tão inusitada, as coisas, na maioria das vezes, me acontecem quando estou distraída. Sou do tipo super atenta e ligada, não tinha expectativa alguma. Ele (meu irmão) tinha me dito que era “O SHOW”, que eu ia amar, etc e tal. Fui de sangue doce. Como fui sozinha tive a oportunidade de fazer tudo conforme o andar da carruagem, sem nenhum compromisso. Peguei um uber sensacional…altas reflexões acerca da vida, dos valores, do que verdadeiramente importa. Da vida transitória, dos projetos, dos amores, do amor próprio. Nunca havia ido num show sozinha. Libertador!

E vocês não acreditam?!!! Tinha uma cadeira na frente do palco…só uma! Sem dono …esperando por mim. Obrigada aos meus anjos da guarda que sempre me acompanham. Amém.

Vamos abrir um parentese aqui, pois quero contar algo para vocês. Já faz alguns anos, que no final do ano, faço uma retrospectiva. Das coisas que vivi, do que poderia ter sido diferente, do meus erros, meus pecados, minhas conquistas, minhas derrotas, meus amores e desamores. Primeiro faço isso… meu lugar era sempre o mesmo. Sento numa pedra na Zona Sul na beira do Rio Guaíba e ali permaneço sozinha por nem sei quanto tempo. É como se fizesse uma “prestação de contas com Deus”. Choro muito! Sempre choro. De tristeza, de alegrias, de gratidão…enfim se pode chorar por tanta coisa nessa vida. Depois de tudo isso, ali sozinha, faço meus planos para o próximo ano. Levanto cheia de esperança. Nunca planejo: “hoje será o dia!”. Isso depende…é quando me vem a vontade, já foi em novembro, dezembro, janeiro…vai ver que é quando “Deus me chama para o acerto”. Já faz um tempo que desisti de controlar a vida…ela tem vida própria- mas isso é um assunto para outro dia.

Então…esse ano algo inusitado ocorreu. Estava eu lá sozinha…no meio de uma multidão distraída. Como sempre faço me entreguei de corpo e alma… fechei meus olhos e comecei a sentir aquela energia…as pessoas cantando…os fogos de artificio…nossa! Estava de coração aberto a viver aquela experiência. Receptiva.

As luzes se apagaram e a magia começou. Não consigo descrever para vocês o que houve naquele show. Parecia magia. Toda minha vida passou por mim…Deus foi generoso! O acerto foi de anos…nossa como chorei – do início ao fim. Chorei pelas pessoas que saíram da minha vida, chorei pelas que ficaram …chorei pelas que voltaram.

Perdoei…pedi perdão pelos meus erros. Aceitei o antes incompreensível. E o mais incrível: estava sob a benção de 59 mil pessoas.

A energia do show era uma só de amor e gratidão…e assim foi meu acerto de contas. Não foi desse ano…acomodei todas as pendências que ainda carregava no meu peito. De todas as mágoas, das dores, dos meus erros. Me libertei de mim mesma…ali como testemunha aquele homem maravilhoso- cantando com a sua alma… me entreguei!

Estou pronta! Que venha a vida! 2018 é pouco para mim! Quero mais amor, mais gratidão! Mais paz!

Um beijo até semana que vem

Vanessa Campos

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